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| I never knew perfection 'til I heard you speak, and now it kills me just to hear you say the simple things. Waking up is hard to do, sleeping's impossible too, and everything's reminding me of you. What can I do? It's not right, not okay. Say the words that you're saying. Maybe we're better off this way. I'm not fine, I'm in pain. It's harder everyday. Maybe we're better off this way... it's better that we break.
"BETTER THAT WE BREAK" - MAROON 5
It's been seven days since you hurt me. Six days since I found out. Five days since I chose our division. Four days since our first civil conversation. Three days since my first epiphany. Two days since I decided I wouldn't cry anymore. One day since you tried to kiss me, and I apologized because I couldn't bring myself to kiss you back. Today would have been another month-mark to our history, but I guess that doesn't matter... or will ever matter.
When I first heard the news, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to feel. You were the last person I would suspect to ever hurt me. I could dwell on the shock and sorrow you have caused me, but where would that get us? I wanted to yell at you, hit you, and leave you-- I want to cause you ultimate pain. That night, you witnessed me crying harder than you have ever seen me, and I held you when you sobbed convulsively on my shoulder. We cried together. That's when I dropped my every intention of hurting you, and realized that we had to shovel our way out of this pit together.
And you want so badly for us to be good again... to be fixed. And I want to be back to good just as much as you do, please believe me, but I can't. I can't look you dead in the eye and tell you how much I want you, how much I still love you regardless of your mistakes. I can't kiss you when it's what I want the most. You cursed me to doubt what we had, thus I'm taking the opportunity to do just that. You want me to be your's again, when you already had me 110%. We were doing just fine, then our relationship began to crumble in one week. In that one week, you couldn't handle it. You were faced with temptation, and you gave in-- without me in mind. Fifteen months, you won me over and had my heart in the palm of your hand. In one night, you made your regretful decision to shatter it.
Countless times, you tell me you're sorry. And I believe that, and I believe in you. But I'm sorry too. I'm taking a step back to reevaluate what I want and what I have.
And in my absence, I hope you'll still think of me.
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|  (CLICK ON THUMBNAIL TO ENLARGE.)Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
And how do you know when to let go?
Where does the good go... where does the good go?
Look me in the eye, and tell me you don't find me attractive.
Look me in the heart, and tell me you won't go.
Look me in the eye, and promise no love is like our love.
Look me in the heart, and unbreak broken-- it won't happen.
- Tegan & Sara
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|  (CLICK ON THUMBNAIL TO ENLARGE.)
Can't say that I agree.
But people write the darnedest things.
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|  “If you enter this world knowing you are loved, and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.” - Michael Jackson
(CLICK ON THUMBNAIL TO ENLARGE.)
It has been a near week since his passing, and this tragic news is still ringing in my ears.
You would probably just appoint this as an additional celebrity death that is made too much of a big deal about-- but oddly enough, I found myself extremely affected by it. In more ways than one, Michael Jackson has helped to create the basis of great music, and inspired the great music we hear today. I'm not composing this entry to give you a history lesson... but Michael Jackson was a huge part of my childhood, and I view him to be one of the most legendary, influential, and amazing figures to ever step in this world-- or on the moon :)
To the King of Pop: thanks for everything!
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|  "Do you remember in kindergarten, how you'd meet a kid, and know nothing about them? Then ten seconds later, you'd be playing like you were best friends, because you didn't have to be anything but yourself?" - High School Musical
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I have evidently been lagging on the updates, but that only means that my life is busy, and that my summer is fun. Other than that, nothing has changed! I still take pictures, and I'm still in love :) I bet today's picture can tell you all of that.
A similar photo to this one is posted on Facebook. I wanted to post this particular one, but it's a little more passion-filled and PG-13. I think my Xanga friends can handle this better than my FB people! Haha.
Robert surprised me here yesterday. He came to my house, and I thought he was going to take me back to his house, but we ended up at this park instead. We took a walk in the rain, and came across these bleachers. I don't know about him, but I got a sudden rush of nostalgia over high school. That is what inspired this photo :)
High school love, in my opinion, is the most genuine kind of love. I know a million people will argue with my statement, thus claiming it the most superficial, but that might be because they have never grasped the opportunity to enrich themselves in the feeling. It is just so young and untouched, and when finally tampered with, it is the most intense. You want to discover every, little thing about each other. It is always inevitable, and there is no reasonable concern at the time. You don't care for bills, or kids, or the promotion at your work-- only about each other. Devotion is the strongest, and kisses make you the weakest. You can't argue with logic like this... and I am fortunate to have found someone who let's me feel all-of-the-above, despite being with me and having been out of high school for more than a year.
Every picture has a story behind it.
I know this, because all of mine do.
PS: You would think we have enough pictures together, right? Especially enough pictures kissing... as an aspiring photographer, my goal is to achieve plenty of pictures with the one I'm in love with. Pictures lasts forever-- and I'm hoping this feeling will as well.<3
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